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I will forget\"later\"

I think for most of my life I have misunderstood the word"later".I always thought that "later"meant just that.In a bit.A little while.Couple hours maybe?"Later"at night..."later"during the day.I had no clue that "later"
actually meant never,but I am getting used to it now.Now that I have the whole concept of it all.And then theres the new virus going around.Oh..we have all had it all before.The "forgetting virus"its quite catchy.It tends to grow on you when you notice that someone else has it.I dont have it to bad yet....but I feel it getting worse,not that I care to much,after all...I will take care of it all"later"

I run with scissors
in my hands

Vern apologized to me for Saturday.Whatever.I told him that I shouldnt have been alone either way,that it didnt matter.And it really dosent.Its getting alot easier to deal with the shit he does and says.You know what I do?I do it back to him.Yes...its all a stupid fucking game,but when I play,I win,cause I make him feel like shit.I make him cry,I make him feel,I make him realize that i refuse to be kept in the background.Whatever he makes me feel...I make him feel twenty times more.I am getting tired of the "forgetting"the broken promises,the hopes,the bullshit.And I make him know it each time.I am tired of the same old shit.I told him that it happens like that though.That the worse the "virus"gets for him,I get worse as well.That nothing will change it all over night.Its called re-building,getting better.Making things healthy.Getting rid
of the sickness...the virus,the whole "later"deals.And if it dosent happen?Well I can get the virus so bad that I can actually say "later"and I can actually forget everything,because it dosent seem like anything is even worth remembering

6:54 a.m. - 2005-10-19

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