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to many beers.

donteatdonteatdonteatdonteatdonteatdonteatdsonteatdoneteatdonteatdonteatdonteat

I watched myself tonight...on tape.NO.Dont do that to me.Dont do that cause now I am here.By myself.And it really isnt to funny.I am disgusting.Gross.Nasty.Yuck.No.Never again.Not until I am where I want to be.

*You have a choice*

Ah,so today....tonight...whatever.He told me about my calls and I told him how stupid I felt and he told me not to.That he useto do it to.And I just told him to shut up.JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP....please.I feel stupid.Just please....please.Who cares?Just ...dont.And I wanna rip out my hair.I wanna get mad.I wanna just not fucking care.

**I WANT IT ALL**

I had this carnation on my car when I left tonight.I know who it is from.I know who I want it to be from.I know.And I didnt even bring it inside my house.I dont even care if its dead in the morning.It didnt even make me smile.Cause that stupid flower...the one that was on my car....well,it means nothing.I could care less.Leave me alone.Its over.Like the rest.ITS OVER.FUCKING OVER.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Im not happy anymore.I cant even pretend that I am.....anymore.I miss him.I miss what we had.I miss what I deserve.I miss it and it sucks.I miss my life.I miss my heart.I miss my love.I miss the friends.I miss the caring.I miss the happiness.I miss the not worring.I miss the fun.The laughs.The smiles.I miss him.I miss him.HIM.I miss it.And it fucking sucks.

2:45 a.m. - 2005-05-14

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