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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The boys banged up My poor kid smashed up his fingers last night.We walked up to school for open house and he wanted to bring the two adopted sons...sure why not.So the three of them took their scooters while I walked behind them.And they had alot of fun,goofing around and all.On the way home,Ty falls off his scooter and his hand was full of blood.Not knowing if his fingers were broke,sprained or maybe he needed stitches,I took him to the emergency room.They gave him some tylenol with codine and put two of his fingers in splints...no stitches and nothing was broke thank god.I felt bad for him.He was crying so hard.Get home from the hospital,call Dickhead and his wife answers the phone so I tell her whats going on,she says"well,heres Dan".I heard her hand the phone to him,I heard him say "Im fucking busy",and I heard him drop the phone.You stupid motherfucker.This is about your child,nothing is more important then him.I didnt say anything to him about what I heard.I only told him about Ty.I hung up with him and couldnt help but ask Ty why his dad had to be such a dick.Now..I never talk bad about his dad in front of him.Out of respect.And for the simple fact that Ty already has made up his mind about his dad all on his own.So the boy answers my question and says"well...he was probably drinking".And continues to tell me stories.How can you be a dick to your own kid?How can you be so busy that you dont even want to know what has happened to your own kid?You know what I say?Fuck him.Fuck his wife too.I know that I take damn good care of my kid,and I give him more love then anyone could ever imagine.I dont need his stupid loser father to care,I have enough care and love and support for him then the whole entire world. The Vernage came over last night..after the bar of course.I will give him some credit though.He is proud of the fact that his house is clean and beautiful.And He also worked at his friends shop last night,which tells me something.And another thing?He was HONEST with me last night.He told me that he sniffed some valuims.I freaked on him.I told him that he was stupid for coming over like that,that it was lethal to drink on that shit and that he made me feel like a piece of shit by doing it,like I am not worth anything if he needs that stuff.And I thanked him for putting me through it all.Because after all,I will be waking up next to him.Once again i told him...I would be waking up next to someone who is cold and dead.And I think he cried.He told me he was stupid,that he wasent a bad guy,just confused at times and that he didnt mean it.I laid there next to him with my back facing him,and I thought about what I just said to him.And then I held him.He was HONEST with me at lease.He really dosent know the whole story of the sweet love.And I cant expect him to change overnight for me.I told him that I was disappointed in him.That I was disappointed in him because he is putting me through something I dont want to put through.And i know that he is trying.I know that he has had a long history of crap.And I also know that anyone who has ever shared his life with him also shared the crap with him,together.I on the other hand,wont and cant and never will,and I am sure that its a big change for him,and when he woke up this morning,I was at lease grateful that he woke up.And I was grateful that maybe by me telling him excatley how I felt...maybe it made a difference.Maybe....just maybe...next time he has the chance of doing it...maybe...just maybe(once again)he will think about me and how I feel. 8:28 a.m. - 2005-10-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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