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I need my bed

He came into work tonight.After I let him go to my house last night.Even gave him the keys.I didnt like him tonight.Its the pills.Maybe it couldve been the coke and not the pills...who knows.I know for me..its the pills.Sucks dosent it?To actually know?The vernage and I had this chat the other night.About the coke.The pills.We agreed that neither of us wants the other to do it.Im hooked again.And he probably is too.When you try not to have something ...it never happens.Dosent matter what it is.You cant have it.So you want it it.He didnt say anything to me when he left tonight.No "bye'No "i love you"and really i wouldnt care.And I kindof dont.But you know why I feel like this?PILLS.I dont want the Vernage doing his cocaine.He dosent want me to do the pills.Its our downfalls.Its always been mine.Kyle intorduced me to a whole different world of pills.I knew the excasty and speed.Never knew about oxicotins or painkillers and downers.I knew about diet pills,which is just as good as speed if you get the good stuff.And he useto hide them on me.I remember the night before he died and I found the pills he took from my glovebox
right by the shit he died from,and I thought it was funny that he cared so much .He needed to move my car that night....cause he knew.He knew I had them stashed somewhere I could remember.
And he took them and put them in his filing cabniet.Locked up.Yet the key was right there.Right on the cabniet.Under the fax machine.And I remember unlocking it when he went outside and finding my pills and his pills there.And the next day,I didnt even haveto think about it.As i unlocked the cabniet for the second time in the last 24 hours, yet this time for the investagators and saw what was there.And what was so bad that you had to unlock it....I understood.He was doing me a favor.He was trying to tell me something.What dosent kill you..will
make you stronger.

4:05 a.m. - 2005-12-10

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