Photobucket I have said to much

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the catwalk

I wonder how many millions of guys whacked off to the Victorias secret fashion show tonight.Funny how stupid men can get,even if the pussy sits right in front of them....its never good enough.Im feeling hostile tonight...can ya tell?All because of the stupid fashion show,and yes,I am jealous.I would die to have a body like those women do,or just the fucking boobs.And I knew I shouldnt have watched it yet I was drawn to it because I like cute little panties and such,but cant wear them.I would fall out everywhere if I did.I really am not happy with my body,and sure,I am doing something,I am still doing the situation,but thats not good enough.I think the last time I was REALLY happy with myself was when I starved myself for what...6 months,9 months,or was it a year?Maybe even two.Anyways,I liked my body back then,when I had bones,
bones that I could feel.Bones that I could see.Or when i had no extra "flab" on my waist line...oh wait...when I did have a waist line.And even though I am noticing somewhat the effects of working out,its just not good enough.
I left work today,lied and said that I had a migrain just so I had extra time to pump some iron.I swear if I didnt haveto work,I would be at the gym alot more.I need to go alot more,I need alot more time to work out,and I need alot of working out to do.Fifteen more pounds...15,and maybe I will be happy.

10:00 p.m. - 2005-12-06

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry