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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I traded it all **You Love My Dark** He asked me about the moving in deal,and I told him about him being allergic to my dogs.To my family,and how there was no way I could part with them.And I havent talked to him since.I dont know,maybe I said something wrong,maybe not,maybe I am just being allparanoid,at this point,I really dont want to think about it.I have been out of it for the last couple weeks, totally out of it all.I noticed I forgot to take my pill for 4 days now,I just kindof thought that I would always remember,and today I noticed that I didnt even start my pack like I was soppouse to on SUNDAY.It made me notice how out of it I have been.And I hate this part,this part of my life where I want or need to be sad or something.The part where i just cant be happy.When there is no reason not to be.Im giving up on things,Im giving up on caring about things. **Its Easy To Forget** I told Josh yesterday that I felt like running through a field,he replied with"people who think like that,are in hospitals"Its easy to feel a sense of freedom for myself sometimes,its easy for me to try to feel it.To imagine it all.To run through a field of yellow and white daisies,to land softly in that field and just lay,and feel that wonderful feeling people wish they had.I sometimes feel as though I cant catch up with things,like there is so much for me to do,like its some neverending road,or a dead end that just stops..right...there. 7:14 p.m. - 2004-07-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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