Photobucket I have said to much

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they get what they want

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**So Sick I Can Not Try**

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Ended up not sticking with my whole"just say no theory"Yeah ...so thats not gonna work.I helped myself for the past couple of days with *little bursts of energy*And I find myself doing so much more.Like I have noticed how much weight I have gained...and its just not gonna happen.I have noticed how lazy I have been.Because of my *little bursts of energy*,I have noticed these things,and I am more happier by noticing these things and correcting them,and if by having my *little bursts of energy*helps,then thats how I am supposed to be,and although I am not THRILLED about it,I am okay with it,might as well just kindof accept it now kindof thing.

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Go Take Everything

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I went to the VFW last night,I got off of work early,so I came home and washed Xena and tore Tys room apart,and now I am stuck with painting it and bla bla bla,I wasent planning to go out at all,my *little burst of energy*wasent going away so I did all this shit,and thought I needed a beer...just ONE.But then Lisa was there,so I sang and lost all my cares about the time.And money.Came home to actually care about what kind of situation the house was in.And I woke up sore,and I woke up to realize how fucking lazy I have been.And because"just say no"does not work,I realize it tonight as well. ############################### ** And all the stars were** **Made of little fish** ############################### So I have been full of alot of"little bursts of energy"and it feel great,I will forever be warped into that whole great circle of never ending shit.Demons...thats what they are called.To try to face them,only ending up as failure....each time.I am actually

looking forward to breathing in all the paint fumes,even though I am stoned enough and maybe even drunk enough,but because of my "little burts of energy",I haveto breath in those fumes...and I haveto enjoy it,and I haveto do all this shit,I haveto,I haveto have more energy,I HAVETO have those"little burts of energy"

9:40 p.m. - 2004-07-16

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