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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here I am Am ~A Crack In Everything~ I had a rough night at work,took a toll on me,seems as if I take a couple days off,it beats me up.I was also off the "wonder drug" for a couple days so maybe that is why I feel so stupid.I went up north with Josh for a day,it was nice,had alot of fun....got a headache once again.Once again,those come back as well.It almost seems that after the other day,I have felt just so alone,and so "normal",and I dont want it to be that way,but it just wont go away. ~Thats How The Light Gets In~ We fought,and he bought me stuff because he probaly felt like an asshole,and I didnt mean to make him feel like that,and I am sorry that I did,and now that I am sorry and I feel bad,I am normal again,because I make it okay,by getting fucked up and just hating me.And he thinks I couldnt survive out in the country...he dosent think it because he dosent "know"me.And if he did "know"me,then he would hate me as well.And I am trying,but I am trying the wrong way,I am telling him this stuff when I am okay,when I just dont care,and that kindof scares me. 12:18 a.m. - 2004-07-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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