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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lots of thinking Well I cant afford to go to school this semester,it really sucks.How the hell will I ever get a real fucking job??I dont mind being a single parent and all,but shit...I didnt think it was this hard.Everyone is asking me how I CANT afford to go,since I qualify for a grant,but they dont understand that I wouldnt get that money for 2 months and then what am I soppuse to do for those 2 months?How would I pay my rent?How would I buy food?I mean,shit,I can go with out things but I wont do that to Tyler?Shit,I wouldnt be able to work any hours.People dont understand that.They think its so easy.And its not,it is hard to find a sitter when you want to go out,you miss work when they are sick.The list goes on and on.Dont get me wrong,I wouldnt change the fact that I have Tyler for the whole world,but it is very hard and I dont think that I realized it until now.I dont know,its just so weird to realize this shit.Anyways,I went to work today to find out that I was dancing with a pole the other night,all I said was"well thats me drunk"People are so dumb,its like they hear these "crazy"stories about me and when they finally do see how I am they all talk about it.Like they cant belive it.Excuse me...I like to have fun.Theres nothing wrong with what I do,its not like I am the only one.I enjoy being drunk and having a good time....ha ha ha,you get what I mean.I guess they just couldnt belive that I would actually do something like that.And why?I have always done shit before,I mean,I went out and everything,maybe not as often,but ...who cares?People are just dumb.A fucked up thing just happened to me,I was looking through the dictonary,and I came across,fink out(yes that is a word)And it means to fail miserably,ha ha ha.Thats what I just did...I finked out.Since I am pretty upset about this school thing....I have finked out.What a word,I am going to start using that,people wont even know what the hell I am talking about,they will probably think its some new "cool" slang word...ha ha ha.Kyle slept at my house all weekend,he is soppouse to come over tonight,but I kindof doubt it..just that odd feeling I have.Well I better go and try to figure out a scheadule for next semester.Until next time....Rock on!!! 8:40 p.m. - 2002-09-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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