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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you take the good you take the bad His text messages started out with telling me not to call him anymore.That he wanted his money.I texted him back saying that he couldnt come over here at 11,that I didnt have his money.He called me stupid.He called me a motherfucker.He told me that he was going to bash my fucking brains in.He called my days worthless,and told me that we would see how funny I was when he came over at 11 to bash my brains in.I did not argue.I tried not to piss him off even more.I begged him not to come here.And he laughed at me,told me"fuck u,see u at 11"then he told me that he wouldnt be around one day,that I would never see him and that he hopes I am happy and that he loves me.I told him that I as well wont be around one day but regardless im not going to love him.I cant do this.I have done this,but i dont want to do it like this.I felt sick to my stomache when he told me that he was going to bash my brains in,even sicker when I explained to him that I didnt have his money at my house,and asked him why he would still come over?Because maybe he just wanted to bash my brains in.I thought about going somewhere for the night.But thought against it.Its my fucking house.My child has school in the morning,and im not being ran out of my house.I thought about sitting in my car,waiting to see if he does come to bash my brains in,but thought against that as well.Now im thinking of having a beer and a smoke,only problem is,I have no smokes,I dont want to smoke,I dont even want to dig for a butt somewhere in the lost and found spaces in my house,I have beer,but I have been doing pretty good at not drinking and why start now.A valuim is always nice but if my brains are going to bashed in...I perfer to be able to put up some sort of fight.So I have deciced to do nothing.Sit and read maybe.Maybe watch tv...maybe even sit outside on the stairs and get some fresh air.Knowing that he has an illness..just not knowing which one...puts me in a spot.People call him Sybil...I ask him often which person he may be at the moment.Its not funny...yet it is sometimes.I dont know how THIS all happened.How I got caught up with it,but I cant get out of it.Ive been warned. 9:38 p.m. - 2006-09-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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