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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elastic Band I have gotten over the Cancun thing.I lost 150 bucks but whatever.Seems as though I shouldnt talk shit before I know crap.I actually owed taxes.Whatever. I guess Ill travel when I am dead.So I fell off the wagon and shoved every morsel of food in my mouth that would fit.I would stuff myself so full that I felt as though I couldnt even move afterwards. My pants got tighter and my one little tiny stomach muscle that may have been there is no longer anywhere. I would look down as I showered and all of a sudden I was 6 months pregnant. I felt as though I should wear fat people sweatpants every day and tuck in my shirt just so that big ole tire could be seen. So I could be miserable.So I could look miserable.So I could feel miserable.That is what I did to myself.Always moving forward just to move back,here I am .Back to step one. I even took laxatives one day to get rid of this "bloat" I felt. Only to be deathly ill the next day.I have done this my whole life.And truthfully I am quite tired of the fight. I feel better when I work out.I look better and hold myself up better. So why not just do it? Because its me.Its what I have always done. Jump one step forward.Wait ....wait...wait for it.Oh...there you are...jump 2 steps back. Im out of energy for this relationship I have with myself ...with food.On another note...the boy came for the weekend and we went to a waterpark.Yep.A waterpark.Tire and all. I had fun.Maybe I needed that.Im on spring break from work and honestly,I dont feel like doing shit.Yesterday I did my workout,made some soup and watched movies.It felt good,yet I felt as though I should have been spending it drinking and having fun getting drunk . But I cant drink during the week.You dont lose weight,you dont get healthy if your a fucking drunk. So I am just one on the weekends.That seems healthy enough. 8:19 a.m. - 2016-03-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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