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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rest in Peace my happiness I lost my mug today.MY MUG.I broke it on accident.And cried.That fucking mug.12 years.I got it the summer Kyle died when I worked at ren fair.For the past year I have been TERRIFIED of it breaking.It broke,into 3 parts this morning.I called in yesterday cause I could,and I wanted to today because of my morning.12 years of my life went away today because of that FUCKING MUG.And I know its so stupid .But you have got to uderstand that it was there for me.When Skynyrd was hit..it was there,,,,when I was alone...it was there....when I was fucked..it was there.Now its gone.And I cried.Over a fucking mug.Part of me says its okay..."its just a mug" another part screams that it wasent"just a mug".My life is not happy.I am uncomfortable in my skin and I actually dont sleep because I FEEL myself growing fatter.And fatter.And fatter.I dont get laid,not a big deal since I understand since I am so fat.I dread my job but hey....good insurance.We have turned into a lifeless couple .Being on our phones while we could be talking or taking the dogs for a walk.I dont even care if I am home or not anymore to spend time with him.Why?Dosent matter.Face book is always more important now that he is back on.I dont even know how to care about myself because of how less I do care.Does that make sense?Losing that stupid fucking mug today made me realize that maybe I am missing more than what I wish to admit.Yet if I say stuff...Im back to where I was 3 years ago.Yet here I still am...like I was 3 years ago...shutting it out and holding it in.Nothing changes.Nothing ever fucking changes.Its always broken.Just like my fucking mug. 8:39 p.m. - 2015-03-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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