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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Same old song and dance. I have been meaning to write,it just seems as though I never have time or motivation.I have been trying to manage whatever the fuck is wrong with my head.My self esteem is gone due to myself.I stopped working out so much and gained probably 10 pounds.Of course I did.I know what happens when I stop.And to think I was 2 pounds away from 120.I do it all to myself.I feel sometimes as though my own husband thinks Im gross and it makes it worse.The depression or once again..whatever the fuck is wrong with my head deal.I found out that Tony is losing the house.Theres a sheriffs sale on the 6th of May if he dosent somehow fix it.It pisses me off and at times it has made me stay awake at night.Why?Well,its pretty simple. There may be some of my shit in that house still.No.There IS some of my shit in that house.Also because hes a douche.A $10,000 dollar boat ,$15,000 in snowmobiles and a camper that costs him 2 grand a year and he cant fucking afford to pay a mortgage because "things"are more important? What happens to that poor dog? What happens to my shit that's left?I pretty much would like to take a trip down that street on garbage day and see where it could lead me.What a dumb fucking douche.As for my marriage I feel as though I have lost some of that "YAY!" because of my weight gain.My husband dosent deserve a fat wife.And I don't deserve a "fit"husband.The story never changes.Its always the same.And if it does change?It never lasts so why fricken bother anymore.I suppose I still have time to fix my chubby self. Its 56 out today,and it hasent been much warmer and it wont be getting much warmer anytime soon.So at lease I have that.TIME. Which ,once again,its the same old story. 2:46 p.m. - 2014-04-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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