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an end to nothing

I bought Ty Mcdonalds tonight and I shouldnt have.It smells so good and I just wanna gorge on it all,and eat til I burst.Oh did I mention that I am back to a no food diet?Yea,well somewhat,I had about 4 spoonfulls of rice today and thats it,I dont have a choice.

*I run with scissors in my hands*

The whole "him"thing is done.I feel it.I fucked it up.I know this all to well.What can I do?Nothing.Nothing but go on with my lonely life of binge drinking,thinking useless thoughts and overall,pretending.Ah,not to hard to do.I am so good at it that if there was a contest,I would get the biggest trophy ever.And it would stand so high that if I climbed it,I would reach whatever is in the sky,maybe heaven?Maybe just the clouds?But I would be proud of it,I would be proud enough to reach the stars with the help of that damn trophy.I dont know.Everything changes then nothing changes,somehow everything falls back into where it useto be.I dont think it will ever end.I really dont think that there is an end to it at all.

6:30 p.m. - 2004-11-09

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