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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 of me ** You Could Have It All** I called into work today,for no reason,just felt like it was a day not to go to work,I need the money but sometimes,I guess money isnt that important.I did some things I have been meaning to do,like go to the bank and such.I thought I had less money for my trip,but I actually have over 2 grand saved for it,which made me so happy today.I have been working my ass off and I really didnt think that it was paying off,but I guess it has been.I am startingto go through another spout of"leave me alone".Depressing.Its like my whole life is just bothering me.I talked to Josh last night,he said something aboput moving to upper Michigan,I dont know what to think or how to feel really.I dont want him to do it,but I will not stop him.I know that I could handel it,but wouldnt want to kind of thing.I am tired of not having him near me and whatever.I want to be able to see him and talk to him whenever I can and want to,and I guess I am being selfish by not wanting him to even think about going anywhere else,but home.I play it off though,I tell him its cool and bla bla,when I really want to tell him,that it would suck,that it would be really hard for me,that I would hate it if he did it,but then again...its not about me,its about him and his happiness. **To Do Or Not To Do** I fopund out that store by me sells epherdrine.Oh,how I loved those things when I was able to get them.I useto go through 4 bottles a week,yea,stupid,but then again,thats how I was a couple years ago.So,I see these,and I think,gee,one bottle wont hurt if I just take like 2 a day.One bottle could help me lose some weight,and I am debating on it.I am scared to buy them but yet I am so wanting to.The craving is there for them,and it hasent gone away since I saw them,I think about it alot,just buying them and popping one and getting that wonderful energy,but then again,isnt that my weak point?Isnt that what I want OUT of my life?All the stupid pills and all the things that I think help me? 12:54 p.m. - 2004-04-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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