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send me some flowers
In life there are two kinds of people,passengers and drivers...which one are you?
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That stupid volkswagon commerical has been haunting me now for...oh I would say about a week or two now.And it kind of makes sense.I am either both.or neither.Then again what actually is the difference between the two?Does being a driver mean that people follow you where ever you may go?Or does it mean that your the one that takes control and you get people to follow you?Being a passenger?Whats that like?Kindof like your the weak one..yet maybe your the strong one and thats why you are just along for the ride?Thats a fucked up commercial.And every time a commercial comes on it seems like thats the one commercial out of all the billions that they have, that comes on..it hasent failed me yet.On a whole different music level...the kid has been fucking up.Thinking he is all cool and what not...tallking back that kind of thing...I understand that he is almost 12....but he needs to act his age,and if 12 year olds act the way he has been acting?I dont think so...no freaking way is my kid going to be a cocky teenager.Nope...not in MY house,which I continue to remind him that it is MINE,that I make the rules,so anyways,I am having a hard time with the kid,yet I cant blame him.He is growing up,he is going through alot of things I never had to go through,my parents were always together,his are just fucked up,I mean I understand it,but I didnt think that it could be THIS hard. *I think I left your back seat* The Vernage came over yesterday,caught me off guard and whatever.I think that my little binge went further then it should have.Its hard to describe how I feel about that night.I didnt care what was going on,I didnt care what I did or what i said...I was having alot of fucking fun,and I havent had that much fun for a while,and even the next day?I didnt know how the hell to think...because I felt great about it all...yet I was so"blah" at the same time.It got out of hand though,I know this.I know that I have been on the edge lately.Going back to my "fun"days.And its not fair to want someone to change and then when they actually do start changing,you change.Maybe its the whole "butterfly effect"deal,but I felt so awful yesterday when he came over.Just seeing him and seeing his hurt.And it showed,and I felt pretty damn bad.But then again,a part of me just does not care,and I would perfer to have a blast...have fun...drink some beers,party til I puke...whatever,then worry about feeling uncomfortable,and not good enough.But I still sent him flowers,he'll get them tomorrow.
9:23 p.m. - 2006-01-17
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