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so far away

And I noticed on Easter how I useto be,I even noticed before that...just didnt wanna realize it I guess.So I realized it.I realized it on Easter.SO he came with me to my grandmas,and didnt evwen follow me anywhere.He sat with my family in the kitchen eating,while I was where ever.And I thought that was cool.And then I realized more.More of what I want.More of what I need.More of what I once had.More of what I do have.

*~*I focus on the pain*~*

I see in him alot.Alot of things,stuff.Alot of whatever.I see that it could get better.We having what "we"want kindof thing.It could work,it would work,we could have a blast.We could enjoy life.We would have a fantastic time.Yet cant do it all right now.And maybe we both know it.Maybe I just do,I know we could have all this stuff,I know we could have a fantastic life.Just not right now,right now,we are still seeing how far we get before we say fuck it.Seeing if its worth it kindof thing.And I think I can do this.I think I want to be fantastic all the time.

8:59 p.m. - 2005-03-29

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