|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To gain...to lose
the kid and I are going to Disney.Without the Vernage.I finally brought it up to him yesterday,told him that if he could save up enough money for spending that everything else would be paid for...cause I am stupid like that.He said no anyways.Told me that if he was going to save up any money,then he would go visit his parents,which is quite understandable.He also brought up
that he wouldnt want to stay at Disney for the whole 6 or 7 days,that he would want to see more things and travel.I agree.I wish i could go on a road trip,see Disney,as well as whatever else the state has to offer.Yet I cant.I cant because I would get lost,and I know this,so why even try?So it will be just me and the kid..its going to be a trip and a half.Anyways,a bit of an update on the "situation".
Because i thought it was so much more better to drink for those three days,I didnt bother going.I was told by three different people how good I looked.And even though most would blush and say 'thank you'I on the other hand would like to strangle those who said I looked good.Why?Because now i think its okay.I think its okay if I eat less,drink more,work out less.My eating habits have gotten so much better with the working out.I was eating at lease a couple times a day and I felt alot better.Alot healthier and thats probably why i was losing the weight...I was eating and not storing the food from days before.So then I go on a three day binge and hardley eat.Today I did work out,and felt proud that i am back at it.This is a huge thing for me...to stick with it.And I need to and I want to,but sometimes I find it hard to do.To drag myself out of my house,into my car..just to go to the gym.And once i am there?I wish I never even went.But then I am glad that I went because since I am there...I might as well stay.And sometimes i dont thnk I stay long enough,other times I think I over did my stay.But its pretty fucking hard to get into a different routine.And I am learning now that if I dont do it for a couple days,its harder to do it.So I have deciced to go on certain days.And never to skip one of those days regardless.If i feel like going an extra day....wonderful,but I am not going to skip my planned days.Which really means...no more stupid drinking binges.No more "just one more beer".No more.No more...and NO MORE.
7:43 p.m. - 2005-12-12
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
previous - next
|
|
|
|
|
|
