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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- reasons why I saw him tonight.After he left his emotional message on my machine.I didnt think I would see him,yet I was thinking about him.The lesbians called me tonight.Their car has been dead now for a couple days,they needed help tonight with it.So me and Mel pushed it,Danyel drove it.It was fun.I havent pushed a car forever,and i thought it was a blast tonight.We went to the bar after....just for that one beer since we were all out of breath and all...and there he was.It was weird.I caught him watching me and smiling.And I caught myself feeling awful.But i played it off well.Until he wanted to talk to me.And he was struggling.He so was struggling to find something...anything that he couldve done wrong.And i felt even worse.So i told him that i was speechless,that I have spent almost a week trying to search for some sort of words to explain how I feel.To explain anything at all.And he still struggled.So did I.I tried to tell him.I wanted to come out and just say"I found some pictures Vern,I wasent being nosey or anything,I just wanted to shut off your phone,and I found some pictures...so now you tell me what i am soppouse to say"And thats excatley what I wanted to tell him.But I couldnt.I tried but couldnt.A part of me wants to be able to think that he has no clue,but what the fuck?Let me guess...someone PUT them in your jacket.Someone placed them inside your jacket and you have no fucking clue.Yea..i dont think so,then again maybe he dosent have a clue cause he was so fucked up that night.There cant be an explanation for it.I have thought about it,and nothing makes sense. 8:37 p.m. - 2006-02-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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