Photobucket I have said to much

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straight up please

I wish I could get my life straight.I wish I could find someone who was just as great as he was.Someone who WOULD and COULD make me happy.Instead of doing the bullshit I have been doing.Attaching myself to people who make me worry and think and not feel okay.Always thinking that I am okay when really I think everything and everybody sucks.Its getting old.The same old shit,the same shit with new people,the same shit with old people.i was okay with the unhappiness when I was friends with Josh.I was okay being unhappy because I was honest with him.And he was there for me.Who the hell is there now?I understand my friends.I mean its the same shit with me,so how long can you be there for?How many times?I understand.But jesus fucking christ,sometimes I just feel REALLY alone.Like no one would ever understand,like they wouldnt even care if i said anything about the shitty feeling I have.So I dont.So I dont and then I am stuck listening to their issues,while I put my own in the back of my head until I am alone and then it sucks.Yet I am there for everyone...over and over again.It dosent matter how many times it is about the same old shit,it dosent matter.It dosent matter because I am there.I am there when people need me to be there REGARDLESS.I wont allow anyone to feel alone because I know how it feels.And it feels like shit,so I dont let them feel shitty.Instead,I am there.Day or night.But thats okay right?Its okay for me to be there...over and over again.And you know whats fucked up?Really fucked up?When I feel this shitty...I could throw EVERYTHING away.I can just not care that much.

5:54 p.m. - 2006-06-19

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