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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You make me wonder I never said anything about kissing Mr.Matt that night he came over.Not because I feel bad about it,with the Vern thing and such,but I did it because of the Vern thing.And thats all we did was kiss.He wanted more,but I couldnt.And I have gone out with him since then.No big deal right?Yea...so his ex Amanda works with me,and she told me today that she talked to him last night and that he told her that I had a tounge ring and that we kissed.I did what was normal for me and laughed and said "whatever".And that he was stupid.And he is.Jealousy isnt a part of me anymore.Kindof like I am numb to it,Im numb to alot of things,or at lease I try to be.And he pisses me off that he would be talking about it to certain people other then the ones that are okay.I love Mr.Matt,I wish we could hang out more and call each other more,but its not like that.When we are together,hanging out,drinking.We talk so much.About the "us",about what couldve been,about the what is not going to bes.And we understand.I talk to him about Vern,he talks about numerous girls yet he loves Amanda.We have a great sense of friendship with each other.And its not like I am sitting here feeling stupid about the kisses,we were annihilated,we did what we needed,we did what we wanted to do.We both felt like shit,we needed to do it.So what?Who cares?Its not like I was going to be with him because of the kisses.I dont want to be with him,once i did.But not anymore,we have something better then that and I want to keep it that way. **Something to hold on to** I talk to Vern alot about Mr.Matt.
3:07 p.m. - 2005-08-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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