Photobucket I have said to much

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Sugar Pain

You know what I am thinking?And its all so stupid,I want to print my diary out for him.Everyday since I met him.
Regardless.I feel LOVE.If not LOVE then I feel something.Something I feel tells me that there is love.But then theres that something that tells me not to do it.Not to let him into my world.Because it wouldnt be worth it.But I want it to be worth it.I came up with the fact today that he didnt break my heart.It wasent whole to begin with.But he did put the pieces back.And he did take those little scraps and tear them up again.Which should mean something right?


*A little music may help*

When this all happened with the Vernage?
I was surprised.I was hurt.I am hurt.
Erin passed out at my house.In my bed.
And so did I.I passed out.In my bed.With
Erin.No big deal.Happened before.And I let him hold me.I NEEDED it.I WANTED it.I was so mad.So hurt.And when I woke up,it wasent a big deal.Certain people know certain things without having to be told.Erin was there for me.He wanted to be there.He knew I needed for someone to be there.No sex involved,just
the part of being there.I didnt feel stupid waking up.Instead I went on what I do everyday.Normal routine.I am glad that I do have freinds who can be there for me when needed.

The truth is nothing
Its been There

I feel a bit empty.Without the Vernage.I do miss him alrady.Knowing that he is no longer somewhere.In my life.I miss the talks and the happiness and the sex and the smiles.I miss him.Being next to him.Laughing out loud.
I miss him.And his love.I miss the stupidness of it all.I miss crying about him.I miss the feeling.I miss the feeling he did give to me at once.I miss him.And I am still not dwelling on this all.

11:23 p.m. - 2005-10-21

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