Photobucket I have said to much

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Got the Life

Well I got the period.Thank God.I was thinking that I was stuck in bitch mode forever.The Vernage spent friday night over only to spend all of Saturday day and night with me,he left at six this morning.He tells me he loves me and I do believe that he does.I havent said it to him since the night I pushed him.I am not planning to say it ay time soon either.He put my new entertainment center together for me,and I am quite thankful because if I had to do it...well,it would be sitting all over my living room floor.Speaking of my LIVING room.It looks great.Gone is my ghetto rug and my ghetto entertainment center.Next on my list is to get my nasty couches out and purchase some glider chairs.I feel like I am living.Sort of.All of the things in my house were taken out and replaced with Kyles things.Regardless what shape they were in.His entertainment center was just holding on by a breathe when I took it 2 years ago.As time went on,it struggled to breathe.Xena would bump into it and I would pray that it wouldnt fall over.But it was Kyles.I could not get rid of it.Until now.I haveto move on.I haveto let go of the material things.Its not as hard as I thought it would be.Maybe I waited long enough.Maybe I didnt.I have yet to get rid of the couches.And that may be hard.But this is my house.Not ours.It cant be.He is no longer here.And he will never return and i have got to start living.I have got to start living the way I want to live and not the way I think I haveto live

6:35 p.m. - 2005-09-18

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