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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hopeless thoughts I think it sucks.Sucks that I found someone that I cared about that would just leave me alone.Drugs.They always do it.I cant understand why I trusted him.Why I believed in him.Why I had to love him.I have been sleeping abit more.Eating a bit less.Not really taking care of myself.Once again.The damage has been done. *Black And Blue** I miss him.I think about what he is doing and such.Is he all coked up banging some coked up whore?Is he coked up sitting at home?Is he coked up at home thinking about me and thinking about how he is coked up thinking about me?I love him.I know the feeling.I know the hurt.I love this guy.There isnt even an explination for any of it.I love him.Thats that.For a good part of my life I have cried myslef to sleep..I have wondered..I have always searched, *Lets Go Crazy* I write to much.And I dont let my feelings show enough,tonight I am printing out my dairy,I even bought extra ink.I doubt it if he will ever read it.And if he does..I am sure that he will be fucked up.Whatever,its like a fricken book...why would anyone take the time out to read it all?Yet here I am ...putting time and effort into it all.Maybe because thats all I have.Time and effort.I really wish that he didnt choose the drugs over me.It makes me feel as though I cant make people happy. 10:37 p.m. - 2005-10-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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