Photobucket I have said to much

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WOE is ME

**Make up your mind**

I have been having way to much fun lately.Drinking and staying out til all hours,but I have earned my respect.There are people at the bar that have gotten to know me and that have my baqck and I think that it rocks.I saw Bob today.I had to get my car since my "one"beer went for 6 hours,so I figured I would have a beer,and then Bob comes in.I like him.I think he is cool,and on top of it all,he is a sweetheart.Today he looked at my shoes and I asked him what the hell he was looking at and he told me that my shoes matched my eyes.Haha,your sweet I wanted to say but instead I said something different.Hes a good guy and those are the ones that I tend to not want.

**Do you wanna die**

Amanda bugged me all night last night,my cousin did the same.I felt so wanted.I felt needed but what the fuck?Its the bar...I am not there to listen to everyones drama...family or not.I am there for me and me only and I WILL have a good time,so needless to say they both got pissed off at me and left.O well.I really didnt care and still dont.I am doing different things with my life,maybe still the same yet different.I still get fucked up but now I just dont give a fuck.Go ahead and talk all your shit to me,I could care less.I am not you and you will never be me,and I dont care about you,so fuck off.Wow.What a mouthful,yet its how things are now.Im done being this nice person,taking it all in,while ignoring my own things.

**Im not scared now**


Geez,didnt Josh once tell me that it was all about me?Yea,well it is now.Only because IT HAS NEVER BEEN.Im done,its all for me,all for myself now.I dont need "friends"I dont need anyone,what I need and who I need ,all comes down to one thing and thats me.My neighbor told me last night that I always look happy...I told him that I know I do,that I do everything for me,me and my kid,me and my dogs,its my life,and no one else is involved so I can do it,and it does make me happy.Im like this for a reason,if no one likes it...move the fuck on.

**Let me tell you
what you thought
and what you have
missed**

I have been told by many people how cool I am.How they love me.How they give me hugs and kisses when we are out.And I think that its cool.I hated how I was before...I love myself now.I love doing what I want to and not being able to haveto think before I talk.Nobody and nothing is worth that.So what if I am a fucking drunk,I like being that way.I like being happy and if being a drunk makes me happy,then o well,its what I gotta do.I hate people thinking I haveto listen to their issues,to their everday problems,well guess what?I go out to have fun,not to worry about shit.I go out so I dont fucking care.I dont go out to listen to peoples shit.And these people are more less..o woe is me,I NEED to drink because my life sucks,and when i tell them that life is what they make it and then it all gets out of whack.And I want to scream at them,yea your life is so fucking bad...you CHOOSE yours..I never did.Assholes.

5:57 p.m. - 2004-12-10

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