Photobucket I have said to much

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capture it

I cant sleep.Thoughts of him come in and out of my head tonight.The time we went camping and met that"nerd"family.How he made faces behind nerdy dad...and I captured it.how we could not stop laughing at ralphie.i remember how i useto stay home,how i drank a bottle of barcardi,every other night.yogi bear campground.that was fun.he puked all over the boys pillow and blamed it on xena.how the boy thought he was so nice for buying him that pillow.but really,he just didnt want me to think he was an asshole.how i slept alot.and cried.i remember the sippy cups.and how i laughed.he was so hungover.i remember how sad i was.and so lonely.and how i useto wake up and just pray to fucking someone to make it all not real anymore.anal sex and beer.clapping for not having to spit it out anymore.little notes here and there.needing me to come over...every night.Slowly moving myself in.whitey tighties.2 bottles of wine and a video.tamales.getting my tongue pierced.i have his shirt.i have his hat.his cologne. his silk pjs.all in zip lock bags.holding in his smell.

3:53 a.m. - 2007-08-07

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