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Game on

Went to Verns on Friday after he asked me to,rang his buzzer,and waited.Now,it should not take to long,his apartment is right in front of the main door.But it took him a few minutes,and then he tries to keep me from walking into his place.He tells me a friend stopped over but he is on his way out.Whatver.I dont care,its not my house.Well,his friend was in Verns bedroom,there is no reason to be in his bedroom.But...once again,whatever,not my house.Yet I didnt understand it.But i do now.You see,through out the course of Friday night,after his friend left,I noticed some white chalky crap by Verns nose.I didnt say anything.Instead I stared at it,trying to figure it out.Was it coke?Maybe some oxycotins?Whatever it was...it all made sense.
They were doing something,and i really didnt appreciate it that they had to "hide" because of me.I dont give a fuck what he does or his friend...but dont fucking disrespect me,and tell your friends..."hey we haveto hide this shit.Hurry...shes here kindof deal".And then I started thinking how Vern is playing with my head a bit.At lease I think so.And if I am wrong,forgive me,but I dont think I am.He knows that I have Ty on Mondays and Tuesdays,yet he always asks me what I am doing and always seems surprised to know that I have Ty...even though its like this every fricken week.But I think he is just "confirming"it all.Making sure I dont or cant show up at the bar.Maybe so he can go blow some guy for some drugs,maybe so he can get fucked up and feel people up.And you know what....I dont deserve any of this,I can do so much better,and I know this,but something is there,something is definitely there.But its not like I have never did this shit.And its not like I am going to do it again,or keep doing it.he tells me yesterday that he would call me.He never did.And today,he will ask me"were you on the computer last night"?And you know what I am going to say...I am going to play his game as well.And I am going to lie and say that I wasent,and if he does tell me that my line was busy...fine I know that he at lease tried to call,but if he goes on about how fucked up he was and bla,bla,then I will know that he chooses certain things over me,and thats when the game begins.

8:33 a.m. - 2005-09-27

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