Photobucket I have said to much

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broken things

I went to the Faire today.It reminded me of how much it helped me.It reminded me that he wasent here.I remember getting my tarot cards read,and she was right on the dot.She told me that I couldnt heal in my house...there wasent enough room,she told me that something happened that saddened me a great deal,and i was there to heal.I walked away.And I cried.Today,I didnt go to the area she is in.I dont want her to remember me,or maybe...I just dont want her to "feel"me.I walked around thinking of my love while I was holding hands with someone else.I looked at things thinking of him...thinking of how things reminded me of him,thinking of why "WE"never went to the faire.Thinking once again of the should have beens,the could have beens,all while I was holding hands with some other guy.Its hard to try to heal.Its hard to move on,its hard to love again,its hard to want to love.I dont think I will ever want to do it.I dont think i can.I just want to go back to that time and take the pills away,or stay awake and call for help.To save his life.I just wish i saved his life because now?Now I try to save everyone and everything but me.And I need the fucking saving

3:10 p.m. - 2006-07-16

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