Photobucket I have said to much

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depression smokes

I dont know what it is going on with "us" but I am begining not to care.I dont even fuck this person but forced to be a gorifriend.I am begining to think that it might be easier for us both if we dont see each other.Easier to give that 2 week notice to each other.The text messaging has got to stop,so I turned off my phone but I am sure that i wil turn it on yet another couple times during a night of valuims.I ate something today.Something more then nothing and my stomache isnt liking it.I also bought a pack of cigarettes,so far I have smoked 3 of them and soon to smoke one more before I go to bed.I am going to get help.This time its for real.I wrote down a number after I took this little test off the web and not only did I take just one...I took 4 and they all told me that I have the things to look for in a clinical depressed person.And I am fed up with being this way.Its time to move on.This time it really is the time.I have paid my bills off...I have gotten a few things for school together,I have started working out again,and I just want to make myself happy now.And if I haveto buy a pack of cigarettes...then let me be happy smoking until the biggest thing is done...I'll make that phone call tomorrow,which I already called in for.I am just tired.

8:40 p.m. - 2006-07-31

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