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Magical things happen
I spent Saturday with Vern and it was quite nice actually.We went to the bar as usual and by maybe 7 we were at his house watching the Wizard of Oz and may I add that Dorthey knew what the hell she was doing.Here she is with 3 guys,ones stupid,one cant feel shit,and the other one is just a freaking pussy.
Yea...I would want to be Dorthey.
Speaking of Vern,so he wants to move in together,have a family,all that magical crap.Well...how do I explain to him that there would be no way whatsoever.His phone is shut off,he cant pay it til Wedensday,well,if he lived with me,it couldnt happen.And what to say that it wouldnt happen?Because it would be easier if he lived with me?Because there would be something called bill sharing?And its not even a month late...more like two.Yet funny thing is,he sure can make it to the bar everyday.Even if he is only spending 10 bucks....thats 70 a week.Theres his phone bill.I cant understand how a 43 year old guy can be so unresponsable.Oh wait...yeah I can.Sometimes the drugs and drinking are a bit more important then your own well being.And I am not saying that you NEED a phone.But you need a roof over your head,and food in your stomache,so at lease he has that going for him....
for now.I would be quite stupid if I were to move in with him any time soon.
I dont make alot of money but the money that I do have floating around after everything has been paid,is my fun money and I do like to buy alot of worthless and useless crap...like makeup.I spent 160 dollars on makeup.Quite a bit of change,but thats what I do when i am bored and I am online.And the worst part of it all?
I probably wont even use it because I dont want to waste it since it was so expensive.But at lease I have a phone right?
*Oh sweet Memories*
I saw my old friends Jogn and Connie today.I have known them for 8 years and over the past 2,I havent really talked to them.I have good reasons.She is a drunk and he cheats on her all the time,and I got tired of listening to them fight.Tired of listenng to her complain about him.Tired of listening to him call her a drunk.The last time I hung out with them,he was fucking some chick,she was going nuts wanting to go over to this chicks house and all of a sudden..I get accused of stealing a fucking porn from them.No,sorry I dont need your dirty porn,I have my own.But seeing them today made me remember all the times I spent with them,good and bad.It made me remember a time when I had no problem sitting on the phone and chatting or calling people back.I dont chat on the phone anymore and I suire dont call anyone back.Made me a bit sad to see them.They went through the Dan deal with me,they met Rob,they smoked alot with me and Rocky and I met Kyle through them.But it seems like since there is no Kyle,there really wasent a "them"anymore either.Maybe it was all to painful for me to hang on to their friendship,and maybe thats why I gave up on them so easily,but I did.And only a few times have i thought about them and wondered what they were doing.And today when I saw them,i realized that they were still doing the same old shit.Hanging out,drinking,and by the end of the night,they will be fighting,and I dont want that drama in my life anymore.I am fine with the few friends I have.And I get lonely alot,and sometimes feeling lonely makes me go into a crying spree,but being alone and having the few friends that I do have is actually my choice.And when I did have all these friends,I wanted to be alone half the time anyways because I didnt want to go through all of their never ending drama.So either way,I dont win really.I miss them,but I dont.Its something I have gotten use to. *eat the bad apple* Im going to Orlando,going to see that huge place we call Disney.I have always wanted to go,and it probably isnt such a big deal,but I want certain things in my life and I am only here on this earth once and I am going to do it.Its going to cost a pretty penny.But that pretty penny includes airfare,hotel,
transportation,and the passes for Disney.And while I was trying to figure this all out last night,I based it on me,Ty and the Vernage.I am not sure if he is going.I have yet to talk to him about it and he knows that I am planning it,but I am not going to pay his way all the way.The pretty penny includes him,and thats fine,but meals and crap?No.And for someone who cant pay a phone bill....not to sure about it all.I have yet to think about letting my sister know.I am sure the folks will do that for me.I have no intention of seeing her or hanging out with her.As for Ty,he can hang out with her for a day,but as mean as it sounds,I am not going to see her and have my vacation ruined my her and her ways.I dont want to see her.I dont want to talk to her.And I havent since she last was here and helped herself to my things,which she took back with her without me knowing til she was gone.What kind of sister is that?Its not
And I feel very strongly about how I feel.I just want a nice vacation again.
So I am excitied,yet once again a little iffy that something may happen.Last time I was soppouse to go to Florida,Kyle died on me.When I went to California,I thought something bad was going to happen,it didnt,yet the thought sits with me.So now that I am for sure that I am going,I haveto start putting the change away instead of buying the worthless and useless crap,I have enough for the vacation package saved,which I was going to use for a new mattress and a small get away and who knows what else,but now i have 5 months to save for spending money.And I want to spend alot.I want it to be a great vacation and because i want it so bad...I will make sure me and Ty get it.
6:32 p.m. - 2005-12-05
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