Photobucket I have said to much

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Fucking blast

And I am the stupid bitch.Sent him another card the other day.Took his trash out today and since I am thinking about today...it was weird.Seems as though first he had to get up at 5,then switched it to 6,then he left me a note saying he had to go to work and then I call him about 11:30 and yet...he answers,but hey...his phone was there when I left..hmmm..lets ponder.He knows what he is doing.He is the Tony type.I feel it.I see it...I think.Yet I want to ignore it yet not put myself through it.In bed,he is alot.No penatration,more less about me and i love it.But he scares me.With all his porn and his "angry"sex.Typical cokehead sex.Thats what it is.Thats what it was with Tony.Yet I want to ignore all of this and say that he is a nice guy.Just tends to fuck up to much.

*You Cant Know The Truth*

The other night he put his fingers forcefully inside of me,I enjoyed it yet it hurt,something new.But he was so into it.Wanting me to "squirt" for him.And he asked me about the squirting situation and did I know what that was...I answered yes from porn and he said that he to knew about it from porn yet he had this one exprience and that one day he would make me "squirt".So I came home to search for this...and then after I watched a video clip or two,I tried.And it worked for me.I did it.At lease I think I did.And did I like it?Sure.But I dont know about some guy making me do this.Only cause.....jesus it was alot of work.And maybe I dont know to much about sex.But whatever me and Mr.Vern do...its awesome,I just dont maybe want to enjoy it to much cause maybe he enjoys it to much kindof thing.And I dont want to be the stupid bitch.And I am 50/50 on this right now.We did something normal yet not.We went on an offical date to the state fair.And we had a blast and he tells me that he talks about going down the giant slide and the Cheap Trick concert,and how much fun he had.But I think I am begining to wonder if this "fun"is worth it.I think I am really thinking that this "fun"is what he does all the time.And not just with me.

4:14 a.m. - 2005-08-14

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