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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rag Lady **All Apologies** I wondered today when *sorry*is ever good enough.I thought about how I hurt Josh and even though I am sorry I hurt him,does it really matter?Does it matter if I am sorry or not?I am sorry,and where did that get me?It got me to where I would be if I wasent sorry.It dosent matter.*Sorry*gets you no where.It dosent get you any further if you say it and mean it or if you say it and dont mean it.I vowed today to never say sorry again.And i bet that if more people took that same vow,that the whole*soory*thing would be more.It would mean more.I miss having Josh around these days.I miss just hanging out with him.Having the fun we did have before it all happened.But because i miss him,dosent mean anything.It just means that I miss being able to talk to someone when I needed to.That I miss the whole normal thing to do.
I forgot what actually being alone means.I have kept myself busy for quite some time now and now that I am not hanging out at the bar all the time and staying home more,I have noticed how my house useto be.I useto do things in it.I useto re-arrange things.I useto clean every night.I useto do things.So today I came home looking around,and thought,how *sorry*I was that I ever stopped.How I missed it.So tonight,I am doing the kitchrn...cleaning walls and such.Throwing stupid things away.And Im actually looking forward to it. 9:09 p.m. - 2005-05-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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