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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sweet day for having beers I wrote Mr.Josh a letter tonight,I sent it and it didnt go through.Go figure.He probably dosent even have that email address anymore.And it was a good letter.I have been noticing certain things at work like how people notice me now.I have lost some weight.And all of a sudden theres people.Boys.Who talk to me.Who "poke"me,who goof around with me.Its funny how you notice things when you feel okay about yourself.Oh yes...lets get to that...the okay feeling about yourself part.My so called boyfriend sits either in a bar right now or he just got so fucked up that he dosent remember that he told me that he would come over.It all makes me feel like shit.I dont think I deserve any of it. The Dream Goes On I went to his house the other night,after I was all fucked up,and I laid there.....telling him how I felt about the drugs,the little jesters,my feelings,his feelings towards me...I told him what I needed to tell him,and he came over the next night wanting to talk about it,but I didnt.Instead we went to the bar,and he told me he loved me so much that night.....but what does that really mean? I have no one.No one to share certain things with me.And I should.I should cause I have this so called boyfriend in my life.I understand that its his birthday and such but its also Sweetest day and maybe I am being to romantic or whatver,but I should have someone to share it with since I am with someone right?I pick the best.Its all so stupid and so is me typing this.I am drunk.High.Emotional.And no one wants to deal with someone like that right? 11:16 p.m. - 2005-10-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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