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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I ripped the pages out. I deleted all of Josh's emails a few seconds ago.I did not even finish reading them.What a mess I was.What a mess we were.we both lost something and tried so hard to recover that "lost"within each other and it just never worked.I once seen him as I was driving back from South Milwaukee about a year ago.I still wonder if he noticed that it was me.Not because IT matters,not because I CARE.Only because I wonder.One of his emails said how important I will always be to him,maybe because of Kyle,maybe just because,either way,it just dosent matter anymore.This is why I got rid of the folder in my email titled "Ramblings From Josh".Why save them?To remind me of what a mess I was?A mess WE were?I have a husband now,he has a wife.We are no longer important to each other.And I am ok with that.Why wouldnt I be?I will always remember the time we actually were friends.I will always remember how great of a friend he was to Kyle.There really werent very many good parts about our friendship.We destroyed each other because we needed to.Its been 12 years.12 years ago we became the best of friends.Ten years ago we both gave up with hopes of being friends.I last emailed him 5 years ago.This is when I should have gotten rid of that folder.But I didnt .And now that I did?I feel like a chapter closed.And I feel good. 11:15 a.m. - 2015-06-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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