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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paint my spirit gold I took a half of a valium because I dont care anymore.I JUST DONT FUCKING CARE.I want to sleep and I wish everyone would just FUCK off.I hate the fact that I find certain things out during the day that SHOULD NOT bother me yet they do,with my fucking 17 pounds.I vowed today not to eat as I was,only to slowly wean myself off of food.Nate has no clue so I cant blame him yet really? He dosent know me.Sucks.To be married to someone that dosent understand you cause you hide it all so well.And I do...he might see me in my moods but has no clue what happens in my head and I just wish to fucking give up right now.On everything.I just want to not FUCKING CARE ANYMORE.I have no friends...no life.No happiness right now.I have nothing.I wake up...only to sit my FAT ass on a couch.And then I go to work.Only to come home and do the same thing.I need a life.Or a life with drugs.I need something.Once again.I have no life left in me and it bothers me,I once had a life.One I made for myself.I didnt ever rely on anyone to make me laugh,to give me that certain missing piece.Now I seem to expect it,without ever getting it.I am no longer good enough.I am no longer cared for.Kisses and hugs dont matter anymore.As much as it hurts to say....theres not much to US anymore......or maybe just me.I give up once again.I give up because once again...I will never be good enough.And once again....no one will ever make me feel as though I am. 10:53 p.m. - 2014-09-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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