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you think I ask for this?

I feel fat.
And I feel ugly.
I am hurt.
I hurt myself.
When will I stop doing this to myself?
I stopped my gym routine because I had back issues.Now I am just lazy.I was doing good.I felt good...now I am back to trying to lose the weight I put on by not going to the gym.Spring is coming and I am terrified of clothes that show my skin. I want to wear my sweatshirts,I don't want to see bikinis and shorts on the skinny people. I will never be them.I will never be able to feel happy with myself.It never fucking works. It never fucking lasts.Happiness is so over rated.I give up.I fail. I cant dig any deeper.

11:08 a.m. - 2014-03-13

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