Photobucket I have said to much

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Be my candy valentine

A friend was prescribed what I was prescribed, just in a lower dose. She have me some because I wanted them even though I still had my higher dose. Lately I have been taking a half of a half of pill as I call it. Why? Because it's low dosage. 3 nights in a roll now and I nod. Like a herion addict. Things bother me. Bugs under my skin. I want to claw at my FUCKING face. I want to self destruct . So I take this half of a half of a pill and I sleep and I slightly smile and I don't go all bat shit nuts. LITTLE things bother me. Yet aren't the little things that matter? So I fix myself privately . 17 hours of overtime . It makes me wonder why. I had 25 on the first check I had when I left the last one. Communication , attention my self esteem. I need to get over these things yet I can't. Trust. I don't even listen half the time anymore because it dosent matter.im never good enough. I'll never be good enough. And as much as I want to as much as I need it. I think I give up to easy because it's easy to give up. And that's all I ever did. That's all I know. So why fucking change?because change is good? Really? Please tell me how. To many times and I hate feeling. I just hate feeling. It was easier then.

9:47 p.m. - 2013-12-28

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