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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have a big heart..but its not real I cant breath.For days.I think I am going to die.I think I have an enlarged heart.My diet pill popping days got worse.My rockstar days got awful.And here I am about to faint.Im dizzy.My heart is a mile a minute...then nothing.My pulse is at 48.Three days.Three days I am like this.I cut off caffeine.I dont reaIlly smoke.I dont drink.No insurance.But...I AM GOING TO DIE.I HAVE AN ENLARGED HEART.I know this.I know this.All the years .All those fucking diet pills and the energy drinks and anything else to crave my energy junkie ways.I am happy now.Sp to speak.So why not die?I do this for 3 days.3 days worth of feeling faint and dizzy and FUUCCCCKKKKKKK,I go in.To the walk in.Paid 100 bucks.Cant be treated there.We will WHEEL you to the ER.WTF?Ekg.Chest xrays.Blood work.A nice little nap and alot of feeling stupid.NOTHING.Pulse still is fucked.I mentioned everything.BUT.BUT.Sorry.Im pretty stressed these days.I gave him my diet pills last night and promised no more rockstars.For a while.I have no money now for diet pills.No money for my addiction.That was not my problem.THAT made it easier.I wish I would have had something wrong with me.Then maybe....just maybe....I couldnt get hurt so easily. 8:22 p.m. - 2013-07-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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