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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I should shower. I am numb to all that is around me.I hate things .I hated them yesterday and the day before and i hated them today and I shall hate them tomorrow.I once wanted to be like her.To have those hollow lost eyes that look into nowhere.I once wanted to know what it was like to FEEL nothing.To be so the fuck out of it that it did.not.matter.I wanted to die.I wanted to feel nothing.I seen her yesterday.Her eyes wandered.Into nowhere.She studied the ceiling after an unfinished sentenace,told me she didnt know.Then studied her hands.I helped her get up .Only for her to have no strength to keep her head up...and lay back down.Hollow eyes.Deep breathing.Looking into nowhere.I wanted that.I wanted that.One time,I wanted that.At one time,I needed that.Sunken cheeks.Thin hair.7 blankets on.Its the month of JUNE GOD DAMN IT.Upper arms the size of my wrists.I stared at her artwork to get ready for the walk of death.What talent.Silence made me remember the life she had.Silence made the tears stay deep inside.Im ugly these days.Inside and out.She is dying and she is beautiful.Im living and I am ugly.Just fucking uglyThings are not so good anymore.. 6:41 p.m. - 2013-06-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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