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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chemicals Finally this week is over.Its been busy,its been stressful,its been exhausting.I picked up a short shift tomorrow and I wish I never fucking did.I am living off of caffine and diet pills,just for the extra energy.I havent been sleeping and my head is filled to the top with thoughts that I cant seem to get rid of.Its akward at work with Stacey there,but Im trying my best to forget about how I know her and just try to get to know her.She did say that Kyle was very happy with me,I know he was.And that is what bothers me when I see her...that she knew he was happy..that she knew I was,that she has always felt bad for me.I have a hard time making eye contact but I do want to be her friend and get to know her.The fucking past sucks and letting go is the hardest thing to do.I bumped into an old friend the other night while I was out with the folks..made me think about Kris and if the girl is still even alive.If I could I would go to New York and search for her and bring her home with me.Thats what best friends do,thats what best friends do when one is a herion addict.But I am not a good friend cause I cant do it.I try to call I try to write...and it takes her months to get back to me.I miss her and I hope she is smiling and getting healthy.Its been a rough week and so much has been on my mind,never enough time though...theres never enough time to get it all straight,something else always climbs in there. 9:50 a.m. - 2011-08-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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