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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The whip Theres always something that turns people on when they are doing the things they shouldnt.I already know that Tony checks all the numbers I call..I text,I know he calls them sometimes,and I just keep lying.To me,I am doing nothing wrong,to him,its all wrong.Whats the difference if I send naked pictures to people on my phone or if they see them on the internet?Because one is professional and the other isnt?I dont give two fucks.I would become a call girl if I could...I would do porn if I could..I would do a bunch of shit if I could,why?Cause its not wrong.You do what you need to do,you do what you need to do in order to get by and survive,I am to independent to sit and let someone support me.This is where the issues come in.Always.Yesterday the crush comes into work.Such nice eyes.It gets me nervous to look into someones eyes but thats what I wanted to do,he has beautiful wonderful eyes. So we text here and there,he comes in and I get so ...so...something.I go on break and send him a picture...fun.Wrong?In some peoples eyes...but fun?Yes.I always look forward to seeing him and wish I could do it utside of work somehow.Right now,I just cant though.As much as I know we would have such a great time,I cant.And it fucking sucks.I cant be freinds with him without lying to Tony.And I shouldnt haveto but I do.He checks the phone bill everyday,he calls the numbers that I text sometimes,do I blame him?No..I guess I would do the same if I cared,but I never gave two fucks if someone cheated on me because it didnt matter.I always just wanted attachment...not commitment.Just sex...fucking...whatever.In the past couple years,I have been taught that nothing is wrong if it makes you feel right,so how is anything I do wrong if it makes me feel right? 9:37 a.m. - 2011-07-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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