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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Im going swimming. I doubt it if i am ever going to change my ways.I didnt come home last week.Told him that I hated this house.Told him that I hate every.fucking.thing.I dont think I am happy.I dont know why I am still here.There are times that I look at him and I wish I..WE could get it back,but I dont think that there is anything left to give.I dont like the changes I have made.The changes we have made.I want to be able to come and go as I please and be friends with whom I choose.This life makes me tired and depressed and it makes me feel old.I have been thinking of someone else for a while,been thinking of spending time with someone else..not to have sex..not to get attached,but to be friends and to have a life.To have life again.Since I met Tony I have lost my friends,and lost myself.Since I met him,I have stopped going out so much.Since I met him?I stopped working so hard.I miss working hard.I dont want to take care of kids anymore.I dont want a god damn fucking family that dosent do shit for me and I sure the fuck dont want to be around people who dont appreciate what they have.I want to ride my bike when I feel like it and I want to be able not to answer my phone if I dont haveto.I have been taking my medicine,so i know this mood is not that.I just fucking want a life of my own.I dont get one in this realtionship.I didnt thik I gae that up until a couple months ago..and I want that shit back. 1:50 p.m. - 2011-06-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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