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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Its a long fall I have lost 4 pounds in two days.I weighed myself and it came back as 147.When did that happen?What happened to 133...or 128...better yet..what happened to me?????I have not been eating and really I dont fucking care to.I am at my end with things in this house.No one tells me shit and truthfully..I have given up.Given up trying to live this happy fricken life...this life I have "always wanted".Is this really the life I have wanted?Sure..I was SO happy in the start of things..but now?Am I?I am happy with Tony.And happy that I found him...but I dont think I am happy with OUR life together.I am bored.Bored of never doing much and bored of always being broke and bored of always providing for everyone else but me.Maybe I am selfish...maybe I just need to spend a buck on myself here and there,but I do know that when my doctor gave me a new prescription for 150 mg...I thought it would work.I dont think it is and i doubt if it will.I started spinning at the gym...I get mad and then I get sad and I burn burn burn those fucking calories away.I dont know what else to do.I have no one to talk to and I dont want to talk to Tony.I just want to be back to where I once was....writing and getting stoned and sitting in front of my computer all night long.I just want to be alone.I think I was happier then...then I am now. 10:42 a.m. - 2010-07-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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