Photobucket I have said to much

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OOOOO freak out

Sometimes...no...all the time..I wish I had a little guy in my head.And this little guy?He would have a notebook and a pencil.So i freaked out.Its bound to happen.I know he loves me.And just because I have never been cheated on does not mean that I dont have trust issues.Its funny when i see my folks cause they always offer me a beer and one is never enough.I had two,and now I sit at home with none yet I do have a tiny bottle of disgusting wine that I would normally use for cooking.But I am not cooking,so why not drink just one?I have my issues...as we all do.I always think that someone is out to get me and fuck me over.So...no..I dont know what it feels like to be cheated on,but I do know what it feels like to be fucked over and over and over again...and really?Its the same.I have felt as though I wasent good enough forever.I have been stood up and I have been used.I have had promises made and promises taken from me.So let me freak out.Its good for me.It makes me think more and it makes me appreciate you more.Because now?Now?You really want me as your wife.We all get scared.You get scared and I get scared.And I was scared.So I freaked out.I have no valiums...no way out anymore.I cant just leave when I want to.And thats a good thing.Because if I could do the things I useto do?I would have ruined us a long time ago.And that...i8s something that I dont want.

2:40 p.m. - 2009-04-27

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