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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it explodes I am getting her cremated even if I haveto wait another year to get my fucking new contacts.Even if I haveto walk to work everyday because I have no money to fix my car.The thought of her being in a mass cremation and throwing her away is fucking killing me.I can not do it.Every time I think about this shit...I want to scream and fucking pull out my hair and punch every...fucking...living...thing around me.Because of this,I am thinking of things to do to myself to help with the pain.Simple things as I have done before.And you know what?I fucking deserve it.I deserve everything I have given myself.This?This is the hard part.Letting go.And here she is...wagging her tail and still smiling.I fucking suck.I fucking suck. 9:42 a.m. - 2009-03-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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