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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- its not me Its funny how you dont really miss someone til they show up in your life again.My cousin Billy and I chatted this morning.Its been a while.We were best friends for a long time,so what happened?I got lame.So Tony is leaving for a trip and I am now thinking that he kindof wants me to maybe do nothing?Like...its okay for him...to go somewhere and for me to trust him...but I shouldnt have fun while he is away?I dont know...thats what he is putting off.So depending on work..I just might go see some bands with my cousin.And when I wrote Tony an email this morning...and he wrote me back,I could read the change.Why?Maybe because I told him about my cousin.Either way...yes I do care,but I do haveto start doing things for myself.I do haveto start having friends again.Cause boy,I tell ya,the other day when I had off?I had fun.I visited the folks and took the dogs for a ride and even Tony said that "I dont do that"But I do...I have...I use to all the time...and it made me happy.So what happened?Once again I got lame.Theres nothing wrong with Tony going somewhere without me,I trust him and I think its OKAY to do things without each other.Yes,I love him and yes,I wish we could do everything together but we cant.And he freaks out when I go my way yet...not when he goes his way.It drives me nuts sometimes but I haveto keep myself happy in order to have a healthy realtionship with him....and why cant i hang out with people just because he cant?Sometimes I just feel as though he wants me to do nothing and just sit at home,and I just cant do that.Its just not me.It never was and I cant change into that person. 9:58 a.m. - 2009-02-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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