|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- love the salad Day 4 of the meds and so far?They are still making me sick.Dry mouth,and nausea,and a bit of insomnia.I am not eating as much which is quite the plus since I havent been going to the gym.I gave Tony almost all of my tips yesterday.To help with whatever.He says I do enough but I never feel as though I do,groceries do cost me about 400 a month or more,and buying the household items cost abut 100 a month.Not to mention the little things I may buy the kids,so i am sure that it all evens out,but it just dosent seem good enough.So I handed him a hundred bucks and told him to put it towards something.It made me feel alot better until I realized that today I haveto make at lease 150 just to pay for the things on Tuesday.And Sundays at Olive Garden?Its a hit or miss.At lease its not like Lonestar where I would have never reached a hundred.And I do have a bitch.You know what I hate?Really fucking hate?Soup and salad.I get guests all the time that says"oh ...were easy...we'll justhave the soup and salad"Well...guys..I got news for you.THERE IS NOTHING EASY ABOUT IT.Its one of the hardest things to do.And...and?We have the greatest salad?Really people?Really?C'mon.Our salad is stupid.Lettuce...two tomatoes,two black olives,two peppers and some onions and croutons.I can make a better one with the shit I have i my frig.Im working 7 days straight.Last week it was 9,Which means that im looking at a 50 to 60 hour week.Thats alot for a waitress.I guess I dont mind because I am making money.But I never get caught up. I told Tony why I went back on my medicine.Kindof.I told him it was so I could get better,I just didnt tell him it was for us.Things have been better.This house is starting to feel like home.There are times when I wish no one would bother me so I can sit and type away but I save that for the mornings now.I get up a little before 5 and when Tony leaves for work,thats my computer time now.I do miss staying online all night and having cocktails and such,but you cant have everything I guess.I realized this morning that I didnt visit Kyle once this summer.And I didnt even think about crying on his birthday.I think its because I was so stuck on loving him that I never wanted to change that.Yet,its been changed.Without me changing it.I found someone who I actually fell in love with instead of trying to fall in love.Or wanting so badly to fall in love.Somehow being in love makes it all so much better.I am not forgetting Kyle,that I couldnt do,but I did give myself a chance with someone,and its hard sometimes to allow this person to love and care,and maybe its the 50 mg I swallow daily,or maybe its not,but Im allowing him to love me,and I am allowing myself to love him back...and that?That is a great change. 5:56 a.m. - 2008-11-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||