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I hear your song

things I will never
have the chance
to say

He dosent need to talk to me now.He did what he wanted to,this time I thought it mattered.This "time" I thought it would be okay.It was okay because you knew me,it mattered if you knew me.And everytime it matters,you get what you want from me.So maybe it never mattered in the first place,everything I said,everything we ever talked about,everything I thought about,or couldve thought about.It dosent matter,it was just this "time".It didnt matter,it never did this "time"

**Ill be on my way**

Same old crap.Everything matters and then nothing matters.No big deal.But this time I wont go back.This time I will keep in mind that it dosent matter.And sure,I will give you what matters to you.You wont give it back to me though,cause it dosent matter to you.All that matters is what I give you,and what I give you is what matters to me.Its kind funny how that works.Whatever.Not like the first time or anything.Its not like I didnt KNOW this would happen.But I thought it was different,i thought shit mattered.I didnt let him get his way right away.I waited.I waited to make sure that it mattered to me.Just to find out that it dosent matter to him.

Listen and think

I went to Joeys last night,where almost everybody in that place looked out for me.I mean it was amazing that so many people helped me last night in some sort of way.I laughed with Tammys husband forever,bought Rondey a beer,had a shot bought for me,had 2 beers boughten for me,got free pot,and even got a ride home so I wouldnt haveto walk.These are people that dont even know their names,I know them,but only cause of going there.And they are all so cool.I can totally trust these people.Its all drunk talk,but I can trust them.Its funny,I missed these people from not going up there anymore.

**We said Goodbye**

And I think I haveto start up my wedensdays,I came home early last night just cause I told him that I would.And I wanted to keep my word,it dosent matter though,that was last night.And all that mattered to him was just that.Yup,the whole wedensday deal has got to be up and running again.I enjoyed it,I enjoyed the people,I enjoyed coming home to call someone,I enjoyed everything but what mattered to him,only knowing that it didnt ever matter to him.So it really dosent matter to me anymore if i start my wedensdays back up again.And I will remind you of everything you miss,but I wont have any time for you,it shouldnt matter to you right?

8:20 p.m. - 2004-11-04

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