Photobucket I have said to much

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Opinions matter

*why feel today*

Im quite angry with Josh,everytime time I think about all of it,I get really pissed.I dont care if he gives up on me...I dont care.I dont need anything right now.I am OKAY by myself,I am use to it...it dosent matter to me.He never should have said that he would never give up because,that gets me even more pissed off.He tells me that I am never a certain way..like I useto be,well,this is me now,sorry.Do I even haveto apologize?Its me now,I am sorry that its not how I useto be,I dont want to change,I am fine with fucking be unhappy.How can someone not understand that?Maybe not everyone WANTS to be happy.I dont know,I dont think I can keep doing the bullshit,even if it is my own,I dont wanna do it,I cant and I dont think that I will anymore.

*Tell me how I feel*

I went out last night,Amanda drove,and I knew that was a bad deal for me since she told Nic she would be home early,she ended up leaving,and I ended up staying.It didnt go as bad as I thought it would.Although I had to have Mike spend the night,there was no way I would allow him to drive home.He lives to far,I really would feel guilty if I found out he had crashed or something.So of course Erin called in the morning,probaly thinking that I slept with HER man,which also pissed me off a great deal.It never,mattered before who spent the night,but now all of a sudden it does...and by someone who never really talked to me anyways?Besides all that bullshit though,it was fun.I had alot of fun just being myself.I drank rum and cokes all night,
and I only remember parts of the night,and it feels fantastic to feel that feeling again.Ha,and he tells me that I dont like peoples opinions,well,tell me how the fuck I should feel?

9:46 p.m. - 2004-10-09

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry