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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- push it real good I am so not happy these days.And when I say it,I really mean it.Im depressed,about everything,about nothing.I hate everything,I cant stand people and I just wish things were alot different in my life.I have been not really mean to josh just really short.I dont want what he wants,and I cant try anymore.I cant sit there and act like I want certain things and such.I cant stand him hounding me these days,I cant stand him asking me when he will see me or talk to me.I just cant be like"that"anymore.And its not him,its me,he tries,he tries to much.And that annoys me as well.I find myself trying to argue with him just so that maybe he will say that he gives up.I know its not fair,its not fair to him,and its not fair to me.I want to be happy.And I just cant find that with him,and I realize that I was not ready for anything to happen between us but because it did,I thought I was ready.I just dont want someone in my life and it seems like the more I try to make myself feel as though I want him in my life,I push away more and more. 5:11 p.m. - 2004-09-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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